Albany couple discloses secrets of marital success
STAFF WRITER
On the eve of their recent wedding anniversary, Ed Karath bought his wife of 60 years, Jeanne, an envelope full of 25 instant scratch-off lottery tickets.
Her smile was matched only by his surprise when she handed him his gift: an envelope of 25 tickets.
"People do say that you start to resemble the other when you get older," Mrs. Karath said, laughing in a living room full of family photographs and memories.
Lifetime together
Forty years ago, when the Karaths first moved to Albany, their living room was slightly less cluttered.
"We didn't have much of anything," said Mr. Karath. "When we got married, we had everything piled in a cedar chest in the back seat of the car. We had an apartment for $28 a month -- and an overflowing icebox."
The Karaths, who married in 1942 when both were 21, say that there isn't a "recipe" to their successful marriage -- or to any successful marriage.
"Three of our children wrote that we've set a fine example," said Mrs. Karath, "but we're just here. What's the alternative?"
Getting along
Companionship, the Karaths believe, is one of the factors that has cinched their marriage together. "We don't compete," said Mr. Karath, jokingly. "I always concede to Jeanne."
If they agreed on everything, Mrs. Karath said, the years would have been quite dull. "But, we agree on the important things," said Mr. Karath.
"We always have," echoed his wife.
They cite their seven children as another binding force in their marriage. Raising children and grandchildren has helped them to "stay young," according to Mrs. Karath.
Tragedy has touched their marriage, especially the death of their eldest daughter at 49. "We talk about her and include her," she noted. "Never referring to a person that's gone is an insult. We keep her in the family gatherings, because she's still here."
Changing times
It is Mr. Karath's opinion that marriage in 1942 was a different institution than today. Wartime couples were expected to "get married and stay married."
Today, he is saddened to see what he calls "too much of a trend to options and marriage on a conditional basis."
The culture is also radically different. "I would be skeptical about getting married today," said Mrs. Karath. "You've got to know the person really well."
Mr. Karath agreed: "You have to have faith that things will work out, that you can work through problems together. You have to have a belief that God will help you on the way. We feel that we have been getting guidance from the Holy Spirit. He's given us a lot of blessings over 60 years."
Parish work
Rev. Thomas Powers, the pastor of St. Teresa of Avila Church in Albany, has recognized the long-time parishioners not as separate entities but as "EdandJeanne Karath."
"They are so much as one that it does not seem correct to separate them even in writing their names," Father Powers wrote. "For many, many years, this couple has been offering many hours and ways of service to the parish. If you should see them at their usual Mass, notice the sparkle in their eyes and the smiles on their faces, and know that the sparkle and smiles are not just for the 'big day,' but is their usual attire for joining with the community."
At St. Teresa's, the couple has been a driving force in the parish's Respect Life program. They support the food pantry and bring communion to the homebound. They've been ushers, Eucharistic ministers, parish council members and even the folks who count the contributions to the annual Bishop's Appeal.
As for their chances in the lottery, neither Karath ended up striking it rich when they scratched their tickets.
But that's all right, said Mrs. Karath, adding: "We're tough."