Wedding at Mass a special occasion
STAFF WRITER
When Timothy Spoth proposed to Kimberly Bauer, they looked no farther than Our Lady of the Assumption Church in Schenectady, knowing that their home parish was where they wanted to be married.
"It's the church of my childhood," said Mr. Spoth, as well as the parish that helped bring the couple back to active worship after both had spent time away from the Church.
Those feelings -- as well as scheduling difficulties -- led the Spoths to decide on a Saturday afternoon as their preferable wedding date. But because there was no way they could work around the 4 p.m. vigil Mass, the pastor, Rev. Joseph Cebula, proposed that the ceremony take place during the usual Mass.
Part of church
Conducting their wedding that way, said Mr. Spoth, allowed the couple to share their love, commitment and thankfulness with the parishioners of their church.
"I feel like I'm a part of that church, and I wanted to share my moment of sacrament with the rest of the congregation," he said.
It wasn't always that way for Mr. Spoth, a truck driver. "For many years, I tried to strike out on my own, and I had to do things my way. It wasn't conducive to raising a family. People would have said I was headed down a different road."
Back home
Meeting Kimberly helped change his outlook. After the death of her mother, she hadn't been a regular churchgoer either; but she found it "comforting" to go to Mass, and he joined her.
"Since we've been going to church, our relationship has gotten stronger," she said. "We've found a lot of faith going to church, and it has brought us closer together."
Including the wedding ceremony in the vigil Mass required creative compromises on the Spoths' part to make the Mass relevant for them and the congregation. For one thing, the Spoths weren't given quite as much leeway as those who plan a private Mass; for one thing, the music and readings needed to reflect both the wedding and the week.
How it worked
Father Cebula, who announced the wedding in a homily and in the bulletin weeks beforehand, said the congregation was skeptical but willing to test the waters.
"It went nicely," he said afterwards. "A few people walked in the church and hesitated. Regular parishioners told me that they liked it, that it was something they had never experienced. For the most part, people are open and accepting; and if you give them a little explanation, it's not a major surprise."
Mrs. Spoth was "a little nervous" about how the congregation would react, but she hoped that they would see "family and friends getting together, and two people who love each other very much stand before God and make a commitment."
She also hopes that when "people see us in church on Sunday, they'll say 'I was at your wedding, and it was absolutely beautiful.'"
More to come?
According to Father Cebula, the Spoths pioneered a marriage ceremony that is consistent with ancient sacramental theology but new to most parishioners.
"All sacraments are communal celebrations of the community as well as of the persons involved," he explained.
Because of the clergy shortage, he added, future weddings could take place within the framework of regular Masses, much like the celebrations of Baptism and First Communion have done for years.
"It's certainly a viable option," he said. "Most parishes our size don't do 50 individual Baptisms."
Made for each other
The Spoths, however, weren't thinking about those concerns; they were intent on celebrating their love with their family, friends and fellow parishioners.
"I lived a very colorful past. People would have assumed that I'd never meet the right person, because I was pretty selfish," admitted Mr. Spoth. "Now I love my fiancee. She's the best possible woman. She's a very giving person, and I'm lucky to know her."
"Every day, we grow closer to each other," Mrs. Spoth said. "We're best friends."