Staff Writer
Each year, the weeks of Advent help Catholics prepare for the coming of Christmas and the joyful celebration of the birth of the Christ Child. One woman in the Albany Diocese, who asked to remain anonymous, has a personal Advent story that deepened her faith and changed her life forever.
In the aftermath of a divorce 18 years ago, she found herself in a hopeless situation where Christmas seemed bleak and the prospect of buying gifts for her four little children looked hopeless.
But Christmas eventually found its way to her home through the generous gift of an anonymous donor. As a result, every Advent season since, she is reminded of and still profoundly grateful for the blessings God bestowed upon her and her children at a dark time in their lives.
Tough times
In 1982, in order to support herself and her children, the woman, then in her early thirties and with no child support from her ex-husband, was working two jobs.
Her full-time job at a local community hospital barely paid enough for the rent, groceries and monthly bills. Her salary did not include extras to buy the children new clothes. But she found ways to survive by relying on hand-me-downs from her friends or buying what she could at discount or second-hand stores.
Even when she thought there would not be enough to go around, she always managed to make ends meet, although with great difficulty. If the washing machine broke or the car needed repair, the additional cost impacted her flimsy budget, straining it to the point of collapse.
Faith support
A Catholic, she believed in God and worked hard; she had a deep faith and knew in her heart that if she did her part to survive, God would be there for her and her children.
Although their daily life was difficult and she was often scared and unsure of her decisions, she tried desperately to keep her children safe and worry-free.
She discovered that her faith gave her courage to go on. On the days she did not want to get out of bed, she would think of Jesus and what He had gone through. Somewhere in her heart, she knew He was walking her painful journey with her and her children; she had to believe that because there was nowhere else to turn.
As the little family struggled to survive that first year, the young mother continued to pray to God, asking Him to keep her children safe and healthy.
Difficulties
Life was not easy for the family. The two oldest children were old enough to understand what their parents had argued about before their father left.
Although the divorce had nothing to do with them, the boys felt guilty and neglected. They were both angry but did not understand why. All they knew was that they missed their father and wished he would come home again.
The two younger children, who were girls, understood less than their brothers. The older girl suffered from intermittent headaches, but her pediatrician could not find anything physically wrong with her. He suspected they were the result of stress due to the divorce. The youngest girl didn't understand anything; all she could do was fuss and misbehave. It was the only thing she knew to do to relieve her fears.
No Christmas?
Soon enough, it was the third week of Advent, the week of lighting the pink candle, when the church celebrates Gaudete Sunday, or the Sunday of rejoicing.
The mother was desperate by then because she knew she would not be able to afford any Christmas gifts for her children. She had tried to put some money away, even for little gifts, but it seemed as if every cent had been spent on necessities.
She lived more than 1,500 miles away from her family and could not bring herself to ask any of them for money; they had their own problems. And her pride would not allow her to ask for help from her ex-husband's family. They had stopped communicating with her and the children once the divorce had been finalized.
Advent surprise
But the woman's co-workers at the hospital knew of her situation. One day, the woman's supervisor called her into the office and asked her to shut the door.
"I have a delivery for you," said the supervisor. She handed the young woman a sealed envelope. As the woman opened the card, the supervisor said, "The person who gave me this asked to remain anonymous."
Inside was $250 in cash. It was a plain Christmas card, with just a simple candle on the front. There was no signature, but a passage from the New Testament had been written at the bottom: John 6:35-36.
The surprised young woman pleaded with her supervisor to tell her who had been so kind to think of her and her children. But she would not reveal the donor and asked, "Why don't you just accept it as a Christmas gift and let it go at that?"
The mother walked away with boundless gratitude and joy in her heart -- and tears streaming down her face. Someone knew how desperate she was. God had answered her prayers! Her children would have a Christmas after all!
Prayers
Every year since, the woman prays for parents who have gone through the trauma of divorce and asks God to give them strength as they struggle to make ends meet and to maintain some semblance of order and love in their children's lives.
She also prays for single parents who are in need, those who may be working two or three jobs just to keep food on their family's table or the bills paid.
She also asks God to watch over and protect those parents who have been deserted or wronged by their spouses and who will go through the Christmas season lonely, scared and fearful.
But mostly, she prays for the children, who are the innocent victims of divorce.