LEAD STORY: Workshop counters holiday stress


Advice on visits to ailing

The holidays can be difficult for the eight million caregivers in the United States, who struggle to care for a loved one and celebrate the season, according to Helen Mylod, associate executive director of the Caregivers Program of diocesan Catholic Charities.

The Caregivers Program offers these tips to friends and relatives of caregivers to make the season more enjoyable (the suggestions were created by caregivers of the elderly):

* In order to survive the holidays, the caregiver and the family member receiving care need to follow the established routine, which includes taking medication, eating and sleeping according to the regular schedule.

* Family and friends are advised to respect the caregiving schedule. If the daily routine and the holiday schedule clash, the daily routine must take precedence.

* Visitors should call ahead prior to visiting. Certain times of the day are more conducive for visits. Ask the caregiver what time is best, and then follow their recommendations.

* Keep visits short. The general guideline to follow is if you think your visit has been long enough, it has. Many caregivers will be gracious and reluctant to ask you to leave, so it is up to the visitors to know when to say goodbye.

* Don't be disappointed if traditions can't be followed. Since the household schedule must be maintained, it must take precedence over customs.

* Don't bring a crowd. If the patient is used to having only three or four people in the house, stagger visits with other relatives so that the house doesn't become too chaotic. If possible, leave children at home.

* If you normally stay at the caregiver's home, consider staying in a nearby hotel in order to preserve the schedule. Arrive at the caregiver's home after the elderly person has had breakfast and a chance to get dressed.

* Don't offer advice. Spending a few hours in the home on a holiday is very different from being responsible for care seven days a week. The best thing to do is listen and be supportive.

Learn about the conditions the patient has. If the person has Alzheimer's Disease or Parkinson's, or has suffered a stroke or other illness, learn what you can about the condition. Besides asking the caregiver for information, you can go to your local library or contact a caregiver resource center.

(For more information on support for caregivers, call 449-2001.)(MM)