Do you think Home Box Office would be interested in producing the following true-life movie?

It's about a baseball team that wins the World Series through a series of unexpected and inexplicable events. Almost like miracles. Certainly, they defy ordinary explanation.

The movie opens with the team having lost the first two games of the Series at home by a combined score of 16-1. They go on the road, facing certain elimination. They are seen as jokes who are about to be wiped off the face of the earth by a superior team accustomed to post-season play. That's when the miracles start to occur.

Amazing characters

The characters are just as amazing as the events. In left field, for example, there's a recovering substance abuser with a broken toe. In right field, there's a player who can barely walk because of aching hamstrings. Despite their injuries, they both make excellent catches at key moments.

Behind the plate are two men. The usual catcher throws out runners and gets a key hit in the final game. But his back-up hits a home run against the opposing team's best relief pitcher, a homer that helps the team overcome a 6-0 deficit.

Among the other characters: a behemoth with the moniker of Cecil...a shortstop who is barely older than the batboy...a skittish left-hander who blows every game he pitches, but the team still wins...a coach who looks like the Pillsbury Dough Man...a centerfielder who plays classical guitar...a relief pitcher who wears the same hat for six months. And the racial and ethnic mix is terrific: There are Hispanic and southern accents; a black man in the front office; even an Australian.

A guy named Joe

Oh yes, the manager. He's just a guy named Joe whose brother died at the beginning of the season and whose other brother (who played in the World Series years before) is awaiting a heart transplant as he listens to the games from his hospital bed. After one incredible event -- the team wins all three games on the road -- something more astonishing occurs: The brother gets a heart and listens to the winning game with a new ticker inside him!

For good measure, we'll make their sister a nun. Not just a nun, but a nun who gave Joe her baseball glove on the day she entered the convent.

After the final game, several members of the victorious squad give credit to Jesus for their success, their talent and their winning team spirit. As for Joe, he simply makes a small Sign of the Cross under the bill of his cap as a tribute to God.

So what do you think? Would HBO like it? Or is there too much religion? Too much family? Is it too hokey? Too positive?

Would it fly?

Let's look through the HBO guide to see what kind of programming that cable network does like. Maybe that will give us a clue to its answer about this story. In October, while the World Series was being played, HBO presented a movie about abortion that painted pro-lifers as murderous psychotics.

Strike one.

Here's a movie about a psychotic dentist who pulls the teeth of his victims as we watch in extreme closeup.

Strike two.

There's a 90-minute documentary titled "Fetishes: Mistresses and Domination" in which a naked man is shown licking a toilet bowl.

Next batter.

Maybe some other network would be interested in a movie about the best team in baseball and its incredible final games. I know I'll be replaying the events in my head for hours and hours, time I won't spend watching HBO.

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